How to Let Go of 2011 and Embrace the New Year!

How to Let Go of 2011 and Embrace the New Year.

Most human beings mark their lives through rituals. We have weddings, funerals, naming ceremonies, birthday candles- all rituals to mark events.

Every year on the 31^st December, I find it incredibly beneficial to do a New Year Ritual or a Cleanse. This is something I’ve done for years without even consciously realising it. This process doesn’t involve making any resolutions because most of the time, I had always found that whatever vow I had made to myself on the 1^st January would fall by the wayside by the 10th! I used to revert back to old patterns and then make things worse by beating myself up for not sticking to my resolutions.

 Is there a better way to welcome in the New Year? Absolutely! We can decide not to make any resolutions and instead engage ourselves in a creative process of reflection and intention setting.

This New Year’s ritual that I’m sharing with you will support you in letting go of 2011 and clarifying your focus for the 2012 and beyond. So I invite you to follow this process, have a read through the steps and it’s important that you please feel free to change anything you wish in order for you to own it! 

Step 1:

On December 31st, schedule at least an hour of uninterrupted time for yourself. Get comfortable, light a candle if that’s your thing, perhaps put on some music. Get some crisp, clean paper and begin by writing the heading "2011 in Review.” Then, think over the year. Month by month remember events that happened, people you met, places you went, lessons you learned (or didn’t learn!), accomplishments, what you were happy about, what you were grateful for, struggles, funny moments, loves you had, loves you lost and so on. What is so great about looking at the year in this way is that you are able to notice how you have grown and express gratitude.  A year can pass so quickly and often we forget how much actually happened!

Step 2:

After you have gone through each month, I want you to consider the behaviour, beliefs or habits that you displayed that you’d like to leave behind. We all have our regrets and learning experiences, yet a lot of us tend to hold onto them much longer than we need to.  On a separate sheet of paper, write down what you would like to leave behind in 2011. For example, this year I want to leave behind feeling insecure and anxious when a new opportunity pops up! (I felt like it was one step forward, two steps back all year!), other examples could be excessive time watching tv or online, bad eating habits, listening to that little voice in your head saying ‘I can’t or I’m not good enough etc’, obsessing over anything or anyone. When you complete this list, rip it up into tiny pieces to really get rid of it. I usually burn mine!

Step 3:

If you want to, share your year in review with someone close to you. See what they recall, reminisce, and share a couple laughs. I do this sometimes with my sister or another close family member- it is incredible the difference one year can make and it’s really interesting to see how two people who would have gone through the same experience could have completely different perspectives, memories and reactions.

Step 4:

Make a toast to the end of the year. A few years ago, I had a pretty bad year - in fact it was just awful! One train wreck after another! I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed toasting the end of a year as much as I did for that year! And I got so excited that it was over and I was committed to ensuring the next year was outrageously fabulous and guess what, it was!  So however your year was, I would encourage you to say a few words of gratitude for the year, feel thankful for all the good, and even the bad and declare you are letting it go. At midnight on December 31st 2011, toast to releasing anything that no longer serves you. Some people need to give themselves permission to release thoughts, beliefs and feelings that no longer serve them so if you feel you need to do this, then do it. It’s your gift to yourself.

Step 5:

On 1^st January, you are beginning to create 2012. Light a new candle, put on some uplifting music, get comfortable . . . basically set the mood. Get yourself a new sheet of blank paper. As a suggestion, at the top I would encourage you to write your ‘Intention Statement’ for the year. Just a short sentence to set the mood for the year you wish to create- don’t worry about the details, that will come later. For example, this year ‘I am creating a year of inner peace, love, calmness and strength’. A great one I heard yesterday was ‘I am creating a year of outrageous joy!’ For some people, they find it helpful to state ‘I am allowing a year of ......’. Whatever works for you is right.

Step 6:

Now, without thinking or analysing, write down anything and everything that comes to your mind that you would like to create, have, do or be in 2012. Be specific, be creative and think big; don’t limit yourself! If there’s something you want to do, like a sun holiday but you don’t know how you could afford it- put it down anyway. I am a firm believer that you get what you focus on! You could win a holiday in 2012 ;) Write until your brain is empty - don't worry about being greedy! You have one life and it’s up to you to make things happen!

Note: write everything in present tense in the "I am" and use verbs to enthusiastically express what you want. For instance, "I am in the perfect relationship and my partner treats me with the love and respect I truly deserve.".

A lot of people also use pictures to add power to their intentions, for example, a picture of the new house you want, or the logo from the company you want to work for!

Step 7:

 Choose a place to display your list or poster. You can pick somewhere in your home where people are bound to notice or somewhere that only you can see it. It’s completely up to you. Or you can create an intention box and include this list as well as pictures and objects that are symbolic or meaningful to you. (It could be a good reason to get yourself that new pair of shoes- you need the box!).

Step 8:

Throughout the year, review your list, poster, box as often as you can. Read over what you have written and feel free to add to it or amend things. Keep an eye out for opportunities that arise and take them. Don’t second guess yourself. Observe with gratitude as the things you want in your life begin to come to you. Don’t beat yourself up or get discouraged if things don;t seem to be shifting- Persistence is key. Ask yourself ‘Is there anything else I could be doing to bring this into my life? How can I make this happen today?  Remember focusing on the good things that we have and how lucky we are is the best way to get more of that type of circumstance and experience.

New Years Eve and day will come and go like any other day but I would encourage you to give yourself the gift of this ritual. Get out of your own way for 2012 and resolve this year to take the steps to truly live.

Happy New Year to you All!

P.S. If you would like extra support in 2012, why not consider signing up for 6 months of one-to-one coaching sessions.  Special rate of €199 for 6 x 1 hour sessions, monthly from January to June if you mention this blog! Hurry though, as this offer is limited!

“You are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David you are sculpting is you.” Dr Joe Vitale

Paula, Your Aspirations Coach

www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

info@theaspirationscoach.com

Life Coach for a Day

Conquering Your Quarter-Life Crisis

Discover Who You Are, What You Really Want and How To Get It.

An exclusive opportunity to spend an entire day, one-to-one with quarter life crisis expert Paula Coogan.

Have you reached a point in your twenties where you are asking yourself ‘Is this it?’. Are you disillusioned with your life at the moment? Do you feel like you should have it all figured out by now?

With over 4 years experience in coaching and a lifelong passion for self-development, Paula Coogan has gone from stressed out, disillusioned quarter lifer in the midst of crisis to a confident, successful business owner with the lifestyle of her dreams and NOW wants to teach you the SECRET to Conquering Your Quarter-Life Crisis.

Paula has spent the past few years helping twenty-somethings transform their lives and has the insight and expertise to quickly identify the source and solution for your quarter-life crisis. She holds a Diploma (Distinction) in Life and Executive Coaching, has over 5000 hours devoted to coaching and working with clients and is personally mentored by Fiona Harrold, the UK's top life coach and author.

‘I wanted to change my life and move from a dead end job. Paula was really easy to talk to and her style put me at ease quickly. I had wanted to become a beauty therapist when I left school but I had never done anything about it and believed that I couldn’t do it now. With Paula coaching me, I realised that I had so much potential and I could do anything I set my mind to. I enrolled at college and I passed the course with a pass mark of over 90% and now earn 4 x more per hour than I did before.  Thanks to Paula I am doing what I always wanted to do’

D. Delaney, Beauty Therapist and Quarter Lifer

This is a ‘life turnaround’ experience designed for individuals who are experiencing a quarter life crisis and want to get clarity and direction- fast.

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• You have reached a point in your twenties and are wondering ‘How did I get here?’
• You have achieved exactly what you wanted and are wondering ‘Is this it?’
• You feel confused and uncertain as to what to do next
• You find it difficult to make decisions and commit to a particular course of action
• You are feeling pressured to ‘settle down’.
• You are feeling overwhelmed
• You recognise the value of working with a quarter life crisis mentor who has been where you are now and come through the other side.

“I found Paula to be an absolutely powerful force in my life when she was coaching me. She inspired me, got me to see things from different angles and kept me on the path to success. She was also highly supportive and a pleasure to get coached by. I would highly recommend Paula to anyone considering a coach!”

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During Your Day with Paula, you will:

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• Who Am I?
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‘Paula listened to everything I said and helped me to become aware of certain reasons for my behaviour. Working with Paula made me realise that I give away too much of my power to other people and that I was too hard on myself. As soon as I could see that clearly I changed my attitude and learned to take responsibility for my own life.’

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Paula Coogan, Your Aspirations Coach

www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

info@theaspirationscoach.com

Life is a Daring Adventure or nothing at all

This is a quote by Helen Keller who was an American writer and social activist born in 1880. She was born in perfect health however an illness when she was 19 months old left her blind and deaf.

I had heard of Helen Keller in school and I had always thought; how can a person with such a crippling disability make a statement like that? How could she choose to see life as a daring adventure? Did she not curse the world and ask ‘Why me?’ How could she hold more passion and conviction in one statement than many people have in their entire lives? What made her so special?

This is a brief extract for her auto-biography, ‘The Story of My Life’ written in 1903.

‘We walked down the path to the well-house, attracted by the fragrance of the honeysuckle with which it was covered. Someone was drawing water and my teacher placed my hand under the spout. As the cool stream gushed over one hand she spelled into the other the word water, first slowly, then rapidly. I stood still, my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten — a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that "w-a-t-e-r" meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free! There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away.

I left the well-house eager to learn. Everything had a name, and each name gave birth to a new thought. As we returned to the house every object which I touched seemed to quiver with life. That was because I saw everything with the strange, new sight that had come to me’.

Her use of language, her passion and enthusiasm for life is incredible and inspiring. She embraced life and everything that came her way. She was eager, excited- it was an adventure.

Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all. Helen Keller hit the nail on the head. There are very few people who see it like that though. We’re far too concerned with the day-to-day grind that we don’t stop and just think ‘wow’. We have become habituated to all the incredible things around us and we just don’t see them anymore. We are blind.

Imagine if we decided that we would choose to experience our life as an adventure? How would are experiences differ from what we are currently experiencing? What would we say ‘yes’ to? What would we say ‘no’ to? What would you whole-heartedly embrace and what would you decide to no longer tolerate in your life?

How would your life change? How would you change?

Your Aspirations Coach

www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

Do You Love Your Job?

Last Saturday, I headed into the city centre for a long anticipated 'totally let the hair down' night out. I had an absolute ball but of course I was, as always, people watching! Our waitress didn't seem to like her job at all and it was really noticeable. She was so rude to us and the other diners, it even became funny. I wondered though why she was working there and what she really wanted to be doing instead. I wondered how long she had been there and how long she would stay there. I wondered was she afraid to do something different? Has the recession forced her to believe that she has no choice?

Walking through Temple Bar, we spotted a crowd and just had to see what was going on! As soon as I saw, I had to smile! Ingenious! A man offering the people in the crowd a chance to win €30 euro if they could cycle a bike about 6 feet, yes there was a catch! The bike had been altered so that if you turned it left, it would go right and vice versa. The cost of attempting was €4 and in the ten minutes we watched (and participated!), this enterprising man earned himself at least €40.

 Again, I began pondering... I thought that this man was exceptional! He had a skill/talent that he had mastered (he could ride this backwards bike no problem!) and had taken action on it and was making a killing! Was he doing it for fun? What were his circumstances? Did he find himself in difficulty and decide to do something novel about it?

On the way home going through the arch in Temple Bar, I heard live music and turned on my heels into The Merchants Arch. The atmosphere was electric and it was all because of one man. There was a singer/songwriter (trying to get his name!) in the bar with his guitar and he was fantastic. It wasn't just because he was talented musician but because he loved what he did, he had passion, enthusiasm and it was impossible not to notice. The crowd picked up on how much he was enjoying himself and they couldn't help but do the same. Again, the pondering.. Did he do this full-time? Did he have another job and was this a hobby? How long did he spend learning? Was this something he always wanted to do? What did he want to do in the future? There was something charmed about this guy and I bet you that he knows it too.

So that was my night off! The reason why I was fascinated with these individuals is because I've worked with clients who have been miserable in their jobs and I have seen them to the place where they feel charmed in their career. The reason why I'm so good at it is because I used to be like the waitress but now my career is something I love and that I'm passionate about.

So where would you fit in? Are you like the waitress or the musician? Where would you like to be? Do you enjoy your job? Would you rather be doing something else? If so, what and why aren't you doing that?

Your twenties are the time to take chances and figure out who you are and what you really want. If you feel stuck and miserable now, imagine 2 years, 5 years time. What's holding you back now will still be there in the future- and that is yourself. You're the only thing in your way.

Your Aspirations Coach,

Paula

www.theaspirationscoach.com

Change your attitude, change your life...

The remarkable thing we have is a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” -Charles Swindoll

I remember going through a rough patch in my life a few years ago and each day I would wake up feeling anxious, discontented and just downright uncomfortable. I blamed my unhappiness on the fact that things just weren’t working out the way I wanted them to, it wasn’t going according to plan. As you may know, I’ve been studying self-development and coaching for about 14 years so I went to my personal library and started searching. I came across the above quote and this was a critical lesson for me. I had always just assumed that in order for me to feel better or happier, everything in my external world had to be fixed and better.

Many of us go along the line of allowing what is happening in our life to determine what kind of mood we are in. The circumstances of our lives become the driving force for our thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Then we look for something external to help us ease the uneasiness! But often the uneasiness that we are experiencing is a result of how we feel about our circumstances- it becomes a cycle that many of us can get stuck in.

 I dealt with this issue recently with a client and rather than trying to directly change what was happening (the circumstances), we worked on changing his perception and attitude. Once he was able to see his circumstances from another perspective, he was able to change his thoughts and behaviour. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and gain expecting different results. The new thoughts and behaviour that my client practised worked and he changed his circumstances and got out of a cycle he had been stuck in for years.

So, what external forces are you allowing to determine your current mood? Can you recognise that you may be stuck in this cycle? If so, I would strongly encourage you to look inside and take your mood back into your own hands. I can guarantee you that it feels so good and empowering to know that you don’t have to wait until your circumstances become what you want them to be. You are capable of determining your own inner experience not matter what is going on in the world around you.

Paula,

Your Aspirations Coach

‘The appearance of things change according to the emotions and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves." - Kahlil Gibran

Decision Versus Choice

Why do twenty-somethings find it so difficult to make decisions? Often making the decision is harder than taking the action that we would have to take as a result from the decision. A reason that we may struggle with decisions is because a part of us thinks if we decide one thing, we are going to lose or miss out on something else. To help you in feeling some freedom around decision making, I want to share with you a distinction between the words CHOICE and DECISION.

Notice how you feel inside when you think you have to decide something. Does it feel different from how you feel when you get to choose something? Many of us experience feeling overwhelmed, dread and anxiety when we use the word decision. Why is that? Well look at the root word of decision: DECIDE. It contains the Latin root of “cide” which means to “cut down or kill.” How is this relevant? Well because the words we think and say have a lot of meaning to us, especially on the unconscious level.

 When we feel we have to decide something, some of the anxiety that comes forward has to do with the feeling that we are cutting or killing off something, therein creating more internal conflict. We often buy into the limiting belief that if we decide one thing, we will loose something else instead of seeing the bigger picture of how much we can actually gain from committing to a choice.

When I work with my twenty-something clients who agonise over decision making, I always get them to look at it as a choice. The words ‘Choose’ and ‘Choice’ elicit a lot more personal power and sense of freedom than ‘decide’ and ‘decision’. Try it yourself and you will see what a difference it can make!

Paula

It is our choices ... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
— J.K. Rowling