Progress: The Quarter-Life Career Crisis

Progress: The Quarter-Life Career Crisis

Sooner or later a crisis comes to our affairs, and how we meet it determines our future happiness and success- Robert Collier

Crisis- for just a few letters it’s a big big word. But what does it really mean? A lot of people say things like catastrophe or disaster but when you look it up in a dictionary, one definition is ‘a turning point or time for decisive action’.

As many of you know, I’ve recently embarked on a market research campaign, Project 121. The result so far is that many of the participants are experiencing what I fondly call The Quarter-Life Career Crisis.

The most common experiences described have been:

1.      Just out of school and college and stuck in the ‘I need to get experience to get the job but I need the job to get experience’. It’s frustrating because you’re at a turning point in your life, between college and the working world and you just want someone to give you a chance! Bottom line, you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed and confused.

2.      The second most common experience of The QLCC are the people who have been working in a job or industry for a few years and although they had enjoyed it in the past, they’re beginning to ask themselves ‘Is this it?’ If you’re in this group, you tend to get caught up in the detail and in managing day-to-day life, you find it almost impossible to see a bigger, better picture which would allow you to create a plan to move yourself into something more rewarding. Plus, you don’t feel like you can really talk to anyone about it because you’re afraid the response will be ‘You should be grateful you have a job’. Bottom line, you’re feeling stuck, underwhelmed and confused.

3.      The third most common group are those who are currently job-hunting and may have been for a while. Your confidence and optimism levels take a dive any time anyone even has the courtesy to send you a rejection letter never mind the number of applications that go unanswered! As time goes on, you see your chances of securing employment getting slimmer and slimmer. You have no idea what you’re doing wrong and no idea what to do next. Bottom line, you’re feeling stuck, both underwhelmed and overwhelmed at the same time and of course, confused.

And all of these individuals are aged between 20–35 (The Fun Age!!) So, can you relate personally or does this sound like someone you know? If so, read on and/or forward this to anyone you think may be interested!

So what happened to Career Planning?

I’m sure you’ll agree that career planning is an area we tend to avoid. Let’s face it, most of us spend more time planning and researching a holiday destination than we do thinking about our career. It’s incredible the amount of people who drift from job to job with no clear idea of the way their career is heading.

This is one of the ways that the Quarter-Life Career Crisis crops up! We get ourselves to the point where we’re thinking ‘I must get out of here, my heads going to explode or I’m going to kill someone. I have to find work now. I have to completely change career.’

Too many of us are passive when it comes to our careers and we end up going with the flow. We don’t set boundaries with our bosses, we sell ourselves short on our CV’s and at interviews, we ask ourselves ‘who am I to apply for that promotion or that job?’ We end up being directed by the environment, external pressures and expectations instead of by our own values- the things that are most important to us. We stay like this until we hit our crisis- our turning point, our time for decisive action.

For me, the heart of career coaching is helping people figure out what they feel called to do and developing a step-by-step plan to get them there. It’s all about shifting from passive to in control. The normal, routine straight line thinking we normally do in life rarely works here. Exciting career change usually involves taking at least one risky step, which often begins with the question ‘What if......?’

What’s your ‘What if..............?

 I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! Please feel free to get in touch and share any of your thoughts or ideas with me via email/facebook/twitter! I’d love to hear from you! Also, if you have a topic or question you would like me to address, please just let me know!

 Until next time,

 Love and Respect,

 Paula

 Note: PROJECT 121

 Project 121: Quarter-Life Career Crisis

 I am looking for 121 individuals aged 20-35 to share their views on their career with me. I want to find out what it’s like for you right now in your career, whether you are just out of college and finding yourself in the catch 22 situation of ‘I need experience to get the job but I need the job to get experience’ OR if you’ve been working in a job for a while but it’s just not doing it for you anymore and you yearn for something more meaningful and rewarding OR if you’re currently job hunting and are completely frustrated.

I set up my Career & Life Coaching business, The Aspirations Coach, to serve quarter-lifers (20-35 age group) and the purpose of this project is to really identify the needs of my clients so that I can offer the best possible service and products at a realistic price level. Needless to say, your input is invaluable to me!

This is a hugely important project for me as it will have implications for the viability of my business and its future development. I would really appreciate your help with this and also if you could pass the message on to others, it would be fantastic! The interviews can be conducted face-to-face, via telephone approx (30 mins) or online and all answers will remain completely confidential.

As a ‘Thank you so much!!!’ I will also be gifting each participant with a 40 minute private coaching session with me if you are based in Dublin or via telephone if you are outside Dublin.

If you would like to take part in this project, please contact me for further details through my email info@theaspirationscoach.com or call/text me on 0868745157.

 Thanks in Advance,

Paula

Ignoring the Gremlin

Progress: Ignoring the Gremlin

Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. – William Shakespeare

Self doubt has been something I’ve always struggled with. It’s a pity I never joined a debating team because by the time I was in my late teens, I had plenty of practice! There was a never ending debate in my head about everything; it was as if I had a split personality. I would want to do something but then I’d have that little voice in my head saying ‘Oohh, be careful- you could screw it up and make a show of yourself’.

The more I wanted to try, grow, learn and experience, the more that little voice spoke up. It got to the point that on many occasions, I actually listened to it and I held myself back. I think one of those times was in fact the decision as to whether to join a debating society in college- the little voice in my head told me I’d make a balls of it so I didn’t even put my name down to try.

Self-doubt is that feeling of uncertainty about your ability to accomplish something. It can be like a dark shadow of insecurity that follows us around and it can lead to hesitation and indecision. If we don’t do anything about it, it can cause us to abandon our dreams or radically lower our expectations of ourselves.

It’s important to know that everyone has their own little gremlin inside their head! Call it what you will- your saboteur, your inner critic, Charlie- whatever! The only dangerous name that you can call it is ‘Me’. Often people think that their inner critic is who they really are and who they ever will be and that is a lie. It is simply doubts and fears which you have learnt and adopted as you went through your life and ........anything that you have learned, you can unlearn.

The people that you admire seem to ooze confidence and charisma has simply learnt how to deal with their own gremlins! There are strategies and techniques that they have used or are using and I’m going to share with you the top 5 strategies that myself and my clients have found useful for dealing with your inner gremlin!

My top 5 strategies for dealing with your Inner Gremlin.

1. Recognise and acknowledge your doubts

You cannot overcome something until you first recognise and acknowledge its existence. If we ignore self-doubt, it will still be there whether we like it or not and it will stop us from moving forward. Bottom line, you need to deal with it because it won’t go away unless you sacrifice your progress. The better you become at identifying hidden doubts, the easier it will be to overcome them.

Ask yourself ‘What triggered this and why am I feeling this way?’ Information is power and you are beginning to take back your power.

2.  Is there a pattern?

You probably know the answer to this already! Doubt tends to have favourite places to hang out so the chances are that you have experienced it in a similar situation before. Think about it, public speaking? Driving? Cooking? Dating? Talking to your boss? Asking for a raise?

Is there any situation that you’ve experienced doubt before but you overcame it? If so, what did you do? What steps did you take? If not, what could you do differently next time around?

3. Create a plan

So now, you have acknowledged its existence, you are aware of the patterns and you have a good idea as to what you could you differently. Now, I want you to sit down and plan out a strategy for defeating your self-doubt. For example, if you have to give a presentation, then make a plan to prepare and practice your presentation until all your doubts are obliterated and you know that you are capable of it. Make an educated decision about what to do next? Ask for help if you want, two heads are always better than one. Put your plan in writing.

4. Take action and be flexible

Once you have your plan in writing, try to identify some possible challenges along the way and decide what you will do about them. This will add to your confidence as you will feel more prepared. Using the above example of a presentation, hire a professional public speaking coach to help you or ask a friend. Sometimes, a little support and encouragement is all it takes.

5. Celebrate your Success

Buy yourself a new journal and each time you overcome self-doubt, make a note of it. Reward yourself! Remember it has taken you years to learn how to doubt yourself so well so it will take time to unlearn. This is why it is so important to acknowledge and reward yourself for each thing you overcome. To journal it is great because then you have a written reference of all the times you kicked ass!

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! Please feel free to get in touch and share any of your thoughts or ideas with me via email/facebook/twitter! I’d love to hear from you! Also, if you have a topic or question you would like me to address, please just let me know!

Until next time,

Love and Respect,

Paula

About Me

My name is Paula Coogan and I am the owner of The Aspirations Coach, a Life and Career coaching business I set up in May 2011. My work is dedicated to supporting individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who have aspirations in any area of life. I firmly believe that we are all capable of so much more than what we currently think we are. 

I am passionate about what I do and get such satisfaction from seeing my clients’ progress and reach their aspirations. I work with clients on a one-to-one basis for a minimum of 3 months, for more information please visit www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

E-mail:             info@theaspirationscoach.com

Website:          www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

Facebook:        https://www.facebook.com/TheAspirationsCoach

Twitter:           http://twitter.com/#!/paulacoogan

Progress is a free fortnightly ezine designed to support individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who wish to progress in all areas of life. You'll get free tips to help you push forward and create your ultimate life today.

Fear of Failure

Progress: Fear of Failure

I haven’t failed; I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. –Thomas Edison

No one ever wants to think of themselves as a failure. We have such negative associations with the word! We think that if we fail at something, we will be embarrassed, we will lose respect from others and ourselves, we’ll lose our dreams, hopes and aspirations for that particular area we were attempting to master. It can be scary stuff and for many people, the fear of failure is what stops them from even trying.

What we always forget is that some sort of failure is inevitable if we are to succeed in life. My 14 month old nephew Jamie is fantastic at reminding me about this! He wasn’t afraid to try and walk and during his learning curve, he walked into walls, tumbled, fell down repeatedly but he always jumped up and went at it again! (Now I’m not for a moment calling my nephew a failure!)  It’s really interesting to watch babies and kids learn because they accept and know that it will take them a while to get the hang of something. They do it at their own pace and they have so much fun learning.

The rest of us grown-ups unfortunately, are very aware of the notion of failure. We’ve been conditioned to fear failure. The thing is that many people are unsure how to overcome obstacles and potential failure and they are stopped dead in their tracks when things go pear-shaped. The ability to pick yourself up and get back on the horse is one big difference between the people who succeed and the people who just don’t get there.

So, knowing that overcoming obstacles is essential to tackling your fear of failure, what should you do? Here are some tips to help you overcome failure:

1. Pick yourself up and hold no regrets!

When things don’t work out, we’re often tempted to think that we have completely wasted our time. But that is never entirely true! Like Edison when he was inventing the light bulb; we have found a way that doesn’t work so our time hasn’t been wasted. We’ve learnt a lesson and we won’t try that exact path next time. We will try something different. Each failure you encounter increases your wisdom and brings you one step closer to success. If you adopt this mindset, you will see failure from a completely different perspective. You will see failure as an opportunity to learn.

2. Keep dreaming big dreams

Always have your destination in mind; keep dreaming your big dreams. Spend time visualising yourself already achieving them. Use your imagination to help you foresee and overcome potential obstacles in your path. The process of visualization was investigated during the preparation of Olympic athletes between 1980-1990. The athletes were hooked to the sophisticated biofeedback equipment and were asked to run their event only in their mind. What they found was that the same muscles fired in the same sequence when they were running the race only in their mind as they were running it on the track. So use your mind to practice overcoming obstacles and avoiding failure.

3. What’s the worst case scenario?

 One of the most powerful questions posed by Tim Ferris in the 4 Hour Work Week is: If you chase your dreams and fall flat on your face, how long would it take you to recover? Ask yourself this question and I bet you’ll be surprised by the answer. Another question posed by Susan Jeffers in her best-selling book Feel the fear and do It Anyway is ‘If the worst thing possible happened, could you handle it?’ We all underestimate our own strength and by knowing you could handle the worst case scenario can give you the inner strength that you need to take the first step! Is the fear of a few difficult months strong enough to keep you in a place you’re unhappy with for the rest of your life?

4. Take action

The best way to reduce your fear and build your confidence is by taking action. By actually doing the very thing you are afraid of gives you back your power. Break it down into small manageable parts and do it at your own pace- but keep progressing. Make sure that you reward yourself for each step you complete- you have many years of negative conditioning to overcome so give yourself credit! If you’re not sure what to do, ask yourself ‘What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?’ If you are truthful is answering this, you will see that it’s only your fear that’s holding you back and you already know exactly what you need to do.

5. Burn the boats  

One to think about! In battle, the ancient Greeks established a well-deserved reputation for bravery, discipline, and determination. They were successful because they were well trained, well lead, and most of all, well motivated. The Greeks were master motivators who understood how to instil commitment and prepare their soldiers for victory. To infuse their army with a spirit of commitment, the moment they landed on the enemy's shore, the Greek commanders would give the order to "burn the boats." Imagine the tremendous psychological impact on the soldiers as they watched their boats being set alight. There was no turning back. Once their boats were burned, they realized that the only way they were going home was through victory.

Are there any boats you need to burn to cement your commitment?

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! Please feel free to get in touch and share any of your thoughts or ideas with me via email/facebook/twitter! I’d love to hear from you! Also, if you have a topic or question you would like me to address, please just let me know!

Until next time,

Love and Respect,

Paula

About Me

My name is Paula Coogan and I am the owner of The Aspirations Coach, a Life and Career coaching business I set up in May 2011. My work is dedicated to supporting individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who have aspirations in any area of life. I firmly believe that we are all capable of so much more than what we currently think we are. 

I am passionate about what I do and get such satisfaction from seeing my clients’ progress and reach their aspirations. I work with clients on a one-to-one basis for a minimum of 3 months, for more information please visit www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

  The Aspirations Coach

  Swords, Co Dublin

Mobile: 086-8745157

           

E-mail: info@theaspirationscoach.com

www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

Progress is a free fortnightly ezine designed to support individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who wish to progress in all areas of life. You'll get free tips to help you push forward and create your ultimate life today.

Dealing with Anger

Progress: Dealing with Anger

“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger” – Buddha

I’ve always been a bit of a soft touch so needless to say I didn’t do angry very well! I disliked how anger affected me, I got tense, my shoulders ached, I said or did things in the heat of the moment that I regretted and then I ended up feeling guilty. I never threw a drink over anyone, smashed things up or anything like that but I always felt lousy in myself when I was angry. I simply didn’t know how to handle negative emotions effectively.  

As I got older, I realised that I needed to learn a better way of handling these negative emotions. I started to become fascinated with my own reactions when I felt angry. Angry emotions included everything from being mildly irritated to being angry, resentful, furious and even enraged. My mind started to analyse what had happened and after a while, I was able to see the situation/person was that I was angry with from a different perspective and then diffuse it in a constructive way.

I’m quite grateful that I’ve learnt how to do this and it’s often something I teach my clients. It can make such a huge difference to the quality of your relationships as you can avoid most of the crap that comes up when someone is angry.

So how do you do it?

Step 1: What’s the Message?

It’s important to understand that our emotions are there for a reason. They are a messaging system to tell us what’s going on and how we are feeling. The message of anger is that an important rule or standard that you hold for your life has been broken or violated by someone else, or even by you. When you get the message of anger, you need to understand that you can literally change this emotion in a moment by using step 2.

Step 2: What’s the Solution?

1. Realise that you may have misinterpreted the situation completely, that your anger about this person breaking your rules may be based on the fact that they don’t know what’s most important to you (even though you believe that they should!).

2. Realise that even if a person did violate one of your standards, your rules are not necessarily the right rules, even though you feel as strongly about them as you do. The other person may have a set of standards which are completely different to yours and which they also feel strongly about.

3. Ask yourself more empowering questions like ‘In the long run, is it true that this person really cares about me?’ Interrupt the anger by asking yourself ‘what can I learn from this? How can I communicate the importance of these standards I hold for myself to this person in a way that causes them to want to help me, and not violate my standards again in the future?’

Three point summary; if you’re angry:

Change your perception- maybe this person didn’t know your rules or standards?

Change your procedure- maybe you didn’t effectively communicate your real needs.

Change your behaviour- tell people up front, for example, ‘Hey, this is private. Please promise me you won’t share this with anybody; it’s really important to me.

Some people have difficulty adopting this method as it means that they have to take responsibility for their own anger and often, we just want to point the finger! I was exactly the same and so were most of the people who tried this for the first time. But I promise that if you follow through and persist with it, you’ll notice that you simply won’t experience anger as often.  

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! Please feel free to get in touch and share any of your thoughts or ideas with me via email/facebook/twitter! I’d love to hear from you! Also, if you have a topic or question you would like me to address, please just let me know!

Until next time,

Love and Respect,

Paula

About Me

My name is Paula Coogan and I am the owner of The Aspirations Coach, a Life and Career coaching business I set up in May 2011. My work is dedicated to supporting individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who have aspirations in any area of life. I firmly believe that we are all capable of so much more than what we currently think we are. 

I am passionate about what I do and get such satisfaction from seeing my clients’ progress and reach their aspirations. I work with clients on a one-to-one basis for a minimum of 3 months, for more information please visit www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

E-mail: info@theaspirationscoach.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheAspirationsCoach
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/paulacoogan

Progress is a free fortnightly ezine designed to support individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who wish to progress in all areas of life. You'll get free tips to help you push forward and create your ultimate life today.

Fear of Failure

Progress: Fear of Failure

I haven’t failed; I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. –Thomas Edison

No one ever wants to think of themselves as a failure. We have such negative associations with the word! We think that if we fail at something, we will be embarrassed, we will lose respect from others and ourselves, we’ll lose our dreams, hopes and aspirations for that particular area we were attempting to master. It can be scary stuff and for many people, the fear of failure is what stops them from even trying.

What we always forget is that some sort of failure is inevitable if we are to succeed in life. My 14 month old nephew Jamie is fantastic at reminding me about this! He wasn’t afraid to try and walk and during his learning curve, he walked into walls, tumbled, fell down repeatedly but he always jumped up and went at it again! (Now I’m not for a moment calling my nephew a failure!)  It’s really interesting to watch babies and kids learn because they accept and know that it will take them a while to get the hang of something. They do it at their own pace and they have so much fun learning.

The rest of us grown-ups unfortunately, are very aware of the notion of failure. We’ve been conditioned to fear failure. The thing is that many people are unsure how to overcome obstacles and potential failure and they are stopped dead in their tracks when things go pear-shaped. The ability to pick yourself up and get back on the horse is one big difference between the people who succeed and the people who just don’t get there.

So, knowing that overcoming obstacles is essential to tackling your fear of failure, what should you do? Here are some tips to help you overcome failure:

1. Pick yourself up and hold no regrets!

When things don’t work out, we’re often tempted to think that we have completely wasted our time. But that is never entirely true! Like Edison when he was inventing the light bulb; we have found a way that doesn’t work so our time hasn’t been wasted. We’ve learnt a lesson and we won’t try that exact path next time. We will try something different. Each failure you encounter increases your wisdom and brings you one step closer to success. If you adopt this mindset, you will see failure from a completely different perspective. You will see failure as an opportunity to learn. 

2. Keep dreaming big dreams

Always have your destination in mind; keep dreaming your big dreams. Spend time visualising yourself already achieving them. Use your imagination to help you foresee and overcome potential obstacles in your path. The process of visualization was investigated during the preparation of Olympic athletes between 1980-1990. The athletes were hooked to the sophisticated biofeedback equipment and were asked to run their event only in their mind. What they found was that the same muscles fired in the same sequence when they were running the race only in their mind as they were running it on the track. So use your mind to practice overcoming obstacles and avoiding failure.

3. What’s the worst case scenario?

 One of the most powerful questions posed by Tim Ferris in the 4 Hour Work Week is: If you chase your dreams and fall flat on your face, how long would it take you to recover? Ask yourself this question and I bet you’ll be surprised by the answer. Another question posed by Susan Jeffers in her best-selling book Feel the fear and do It Anyway is ‘If the worst thing possible happened, could you handle it?’ We all underestimate our own strength and by knowing you could handle the worst case scenario can give you the inner strength that you need to take the first step! Is the fear of a few difficult months strong enough to keep you in a place you’re unhappy with for the rest of your life?

4. Take action

The best way to reduce your fear and build your confidence is by taking action. By actually doing the very thing you are afraid of gives you back your power. Break it down into small manageable parts and do it at your own pace- but keep progressing. Make sure that you reward yourself for each step you complete- you have many years of negative conditioning to overcome so give yourself credit! If you’re not sure what to do, ask yourself ‘What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?’ If you are truthful is answering this, you will see that it’s only your fear that’s holding you back and you already know exactly what you need to do.

5. Burn the boats  

One to think about! In battle, the ancient Greeks established a well-deserved reputation for bravery, discipline, and determination. They were successful because they were well trained, well lead, and most of all, well motivated. The Greeks were master motivators who understood how to instil commitment and prepare their soldiers for victory. To infuse their army with a spirit of commitment, the moment they landed on the enemy's shore, the Greek commanders would give the order to "burn the boats." Imagine the tremendous psychological impact on the soldiers as they watched their boats being set alight. There was no turning back. Once their boats were burned, they realized that the only way they were going home was through victory.

Are there any boats you need to burn to cement your commitment?

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! Please feel free to get in touch and share any of your thoughts or ideas with me via email/facebook/twitter! I’d love to hear from you! Also, if you have a topic or question you would like me to address, please just let me know!

Until next time,

Love and Respect,

Paula

About Me

My name is Paula Coogan and I am the owner of The Aspirations Coach, a Life and Career coaching business I set up in May 2011. My work is dedicated to supporting individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who have aspirations in any area of life. I firmly believe that we are all capable of so much more than what we currently think we are. 

I am passionate about what I do and get such satisfaction from seeing my clients’ progress and reach their aspirations. I work with clients on a one-to-one basis for a minimum of 3 months, for more information please visit www.TheAspirationsCoach.com

           

Email: info@theaspirationscoach.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheAspirationsCoach
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/paulacoogan

Progress is a free fortnightly ezine designed to support individuals in their 20’s and 30’s who wish to progress in all areas of life. You'll get free tips to help you push forward and create your ultimate life today.