Progress: The Quarter-Life Career Crisis

Progress: The Quarter-Life Career Crisis

Sooner or later a crisis comes to our affairs, and how we meet it determines our future happiness and success- Robert Collier

Crisis- for just a few letters it’s a big big word. But what does it really mean? A lot of people say things like catastrophe or disaster but when you look it up in a dictionary, one definition is ‘a turning point or time for decisive action’.

As many of you know, I’ve recently embarked on a market research campaign, Project 121. The result so far is that many of the participants are experiencing what I fondly call The Quarter-Life Career Crisis.

The most common experiences described have been:

1.      Just out of school and college and stuck in the ‘I need to get experience to get the job but I need the job to get experience’. It’s frustrating because you’re at a turning point in your life, between college and the working world and you just want someone to give you a chance! Bottom line, you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed and confused.

2.      The second most common experience of The QLCC are the people who have been working in a job or industry for a few years and although they had enjoyed it in the past, they’re beginning to ask themselves ‘Is this it?’ If you’re in this group, you tend to get caught up in the detail and in managing day-to-day life, you find it almost impossible to see a bigger, better picture which would allow you to create a plan to move yourself into something more rewarding. Plus, you don’t feel like you can really talk to anyone about it because you’re afraid the response will be ‘You should be grateful you have a job’. Bottom line, you’re feeling stuck, underwhelmed and confused.

3.      The third most common group are those who are currently job-hunting and may have been for a while. Your confidence and optimism levels take a dive any time anyone even has the courtesy to send you a rejection letter never mind the number of applications that go unanswered! As time goes on, you see your chances of securing employment getting slimmer and slimmer. You have no idea what you’re doing wrong and no idea what to do next. Bottom line, you’re feeling stuck, both underwhelmed and overwhelmed at the same time and of course, confused.

And all of these individuals are aged between 20–35 (The Fun Age!!) So, can you relate personally or does this sound like someone you know? If so, read on and/or forward this to anyone you think may be interested!

So what happened to Career Planning?

I’m sure you’ll agree that career planning is an area we tend to avoid. Let’s face it, most of us spend more time planning and researching a holiday destination than we do thinking about our career. It’s incredible the amount of people who drift from job to job with no clear idea of the way their career is heading.

This is one of the ways that the Quarter-Life Career Crisis crops up! We get ourselves to the point where we’re thinking ‘I must get out of here, my heads going to explode or I’m going to kill someone. I have to find work now. I have to completely change career.’

Too many of us are passive when it comes to our careers and we end up going with the flow. We don’t set boundaries with our bosses, we sell ourselves short on our CV’s and at interviews, we ask ourselves ‘who am I to apply for that promotion or that job?’ We end up being directed by the environment, external pressures and expectations instead of by our own values- the things that are most important to us. We stay like this until we hit our crisis- our turning point, our time for decisive action.

For me, the heart of career coaching is helping people figure out what they feel called to do and developing a step-by-step plan to get them there. It’s all about shifting from passive to in control. The normal, routine straight line thinking we normally do in life rarely works here. Exciting career change usually involves taking at least one risky step, which often begins with the question ‘What if......?’

What’s your ‘What if..............?

 I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! Please feel free to get in touch and share any of your thoughts or ideas with me via email/facebook/twitter! I’d love to hear from you! Also, if you have a topic or question you would like me to address, please just let me know!

 Until next time,

 Love and Respect,

 Paula

 Note: PROJECT 121

 Project 121: Quarter-Life Career Crisis

 I am looking for 121 individuals aged 20-35 to share their views on their career with me. I want to find out what it’s like for you right now in your career, whether you are just out of college and finding yourself in the catch 22 situation of ‘I need experience to get the job but I need the job to get experience’ OR if you’ve been working in a job for a while but it’s just not doing it for you anymore and you yearn for something more meaningful and rewarding OR if you’re currently job hunting and are completely frustrated.

I set up my Career & Life Coaching business, The Aspirations Coach, to serve quarter-lifers (20-35 age group) and the purpose of this project is to really identify the needs of my clients so that I can offer the best possible service and products at a realistic price level. Needless to say, your input is invaluable to me!

This is a hugely important project for me as it will have implications for the viability of my business and its future development. I would really appreciate your help with this and also if you could pass the message on to others, it would be fantastic! The interviews can be conducted face-to-face, via telephone approx (30 mins) or online and all answers will remain completely confidential.

As a ‘Thank you so much!!!’ I will also be gifting each participant with a 40 minute private coaching session with me if you are based in Dublin or via telephone if you are outside Dublin.

If you would like to take part in this project, please contact me for further details through my email info@theaspirationscoach.com or call/text me on 0868745157.

 Thanks in Advance,

Paula

Take 100% Responsibility For Your Life

  

One of the greatest lies which we twenty-somethings have been conditioned with is that we are entitled to a great life. We’re entitled to a good job, nice house, fabulous body, perfect partner and great salary. Why? Well because we exist and we’ve been expecting it. But the cold hard truth is- we’re responsible for making it happen! There’s only one person responsible for the quality and calibre of life that you live and that person is you. You must take 100% responsibility for your own life.  

This is the one principle which I know to be powerful and true, yet also the one I have struggled with the most. To be perfectly honest, I still struggle with it. Conditioning is a powerful thing, but so is awareness and persistence. The fact is that we have been conditioned to blame other people, things, events and circumstances on the fact that our lives aren’t working the way we had expected. We blame the traffic lights, our parents, our teachers, our friends, our co-workers, our dogs, our partners, the weather- anyone or anything we can pin the blame on. We rarely look to where the real issue lies- with ourselves.  

Taking 100% responsibility means that you acknowledge and accept that you create everything that comes about in your life. It means that you understand that you are the cause of all of your experiences. If you really want to make your life work, and I mean really want to, then you have to stop playing the blame and complain game and take full responsibility for all of the results you are getting- that includes your setbacks and successes. 

The reason why this principle is so important is because if you accept that you have created what you have, it means that you also acknowledge that you also have the power to change it. If things ‘happen’ to you all the time, you are handing away your power to do something about it.   You must take the position that you have always had the power to do something different, to produce the results you wanted or to make a different decision. But for whatever reason, be it fear of being hurt, fear of losing out, wanting to take the easy path or even not wanting to stand out, you chose not to exercise that power. Why? It doesn’t matter why, the past is behind you and all that is important now is that you acknowledge that it’s your responsibility. If something doesn’t turn out the way you had wanted, ask yourself ‘How did I create that?’. ‘What was my role in bringing that into being?’ 

If we’re in an unhappy relationship, we blame our partners. It is their fault it’s not working and we can see that it would and could be so much better if they simply changed. We’re still saying that 6 years later and still blaming them. We don’t even entertain the notion that we’re responsible but the truth is that we are, we are choosing to stay, we are choosing to put up with the behaviour, we’re choosing to blame them rather than make the changes ourselves. Why? Because we’re afraid to be alone, because we’ve invested a lot in the relationship, because we love them and even the thought of leaving hurts. I’ve totally been there. The only thing you can change is yourself. 

If we’re overweight, we blame chocolate (‘those lindt lindor sweets are just too nice!’- familiar?), we blame time, we blame our upbringing, we blame our genes, we blame our jeans! But bottom line, you are the one who put that food in your mouth. You are the one who sat on the couch all evening watching tv. If you continually blame things that are seemingly outside of your control, then you will never have the power to change things. You know you need to eat less and move more but you choose not to.   

You will never get where you want to be if you continually blame someone else or something for your lack of progress. If you want to stand out from the crowd you need to acknowledge that is all down to you. It was your thoughts, your words, your actions (or lack of), your decisions that brought you to where you are now. Nobody else- just you. 

So why don’t you change? 

Most people do not like the thought of change. That is because change involves risks. You run the risk of being unemployed, left alone,or ridiculed and judged by others. Making a change might take effort, money and time, it might be uncomfortable, difficult or confusing. So to avoid risking any of the uncomfortable feelings and experiences, you stay put and complain about it. You need to make the decision to stop complaining, to stop spending time with complainers and get on with creating the life of your dreams. 

The Bottom Line

You are the one who is creating your life the way it is as a result of your thoughts and actions. You are in charge of how you think, how you feel, what you say and what you do. You are also in charge of what you are exposed to with regards the books you read, the people you choose to spend time with, the films you watch and what you see in your world. Every action is under your control. 

Exercise: 

Step 1: Grab a pen and paper.  

Step 2: Write the heading ‘If I took 100% responsibility for my life and stopped playing the blame and complain game, how would my life look?’ Think about it for a while.  Would you still associate with the same people, would you put more effort into my work, would your lifestyle improve, would you cook healthier meals, would you say no more often, would you still be in your current job?

Step 3: Commit right now to begin to take responsibility for your own life. By doing this, your whole outlook on life will change.  It won’t happen overnight, but by taking a little step each day you can claim back the power you have given away and create the life you truly aspire to. 

Step 4: Acknowledge that it will take time and discipline but it will be worth it. Be prepared to raise your awareness to what you are doing and the results you are producing. The results never lie so use them as your personal compass.   

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself- Jim Rohn  

Your Aspirations Coach, 
Paula

www.TheAspirationsCoach.com
info@theaspirationscoach.com